The Autopsy of a Persona: Why the "Vlogger" Had to Die

Soon, I will post my last running vlog. It will be a celebration run, but also a funeral for a persona I created and am finally ready to let go.

It started on November 22, 2025. I had an epiphany the night before: it was time to change and actually do something with my life. I set up a tripod, put on my favourite bright red sweater and some silly goggles, and started talking to the camera like it was something I was used to.

The challenge was to run 5km every day until I could do it in under 22 minutes. That first day, leaning into the "content creator" vibe, I went for a run in my Birkenstocks—no socks. I quickly realized how bad an idea that was. My joints were sore, and my feet were covered in blisters, but I pushed through and finished in 36 minutes. By the next day, I had shoes and socks on, finishing in under 30 minutes. People started watching, which motivated me to keep going.

By runs three through six, I had the right gear and was finding a real passion for running in nature. But the social media aspect was starting to get to me. I wasn’t always getting the reaction I wanted, and I felt judged. At times, I felt like a clown, letting go of my dignity for the sake of "entertainment."

On my seventh run, I posted a video encouraging people to call their grandmas. This connected back to my first blog post about how prioritizing my mental, social, and physical health led to my brightest winter in Canada in eight years. For the first time, I was sober and thriving in school. That video blew up, despite not actually showing me running. I realized then that people weren’t there for the fitness metrics; they were capturing my words and my drive.

Run eight began with news that one of my best friends, Emiliano, had won his first professional Muay Thai fight in Thailand. Seeing him on top of the world after his own struggles gave me a massive drive. I researched how to optimize my pace and ran the 5k in 23 minutes—my record, and only a minute away from my goal.

It felt like the best day of my life, but as I edited the video, I realized I hated the social media part. The interaction was draining me. I wasn’t a vlogger, and I didn’t want to be one. I was starting to burn out.

That afternoon, my body gave out. During a skateboarding session, my knee hyperextended. The daily running had beaten my joints down, and despite knowing better, I had ignored the warnings. I was sidelined for a month, limping and facing the risk of depression.

I managed to get back to it by Christmas. On December 31st, I ran a race in 20 minutes (a 4:08 min/km pace). I had "done it," but the satisfaction wasn't there. The race ended up being 4.8km instead of a full 5km, which was a bummer. I put out a mediocre video with a cringey, trendy song just to finish the challenge, but no one on social media really cared.

Now that it’s 2026, here are my new challenges:

1. I want to let go of the search for external validation. I recently got stuck wanting validation from a girl after a date didn't go as planned, and a friend reminded me that I need to learn to love myself.

2. I want to be more meaningful with my actions, thoughts, and words. May the dreams I have turn into actions in their direction, accompanied by great conversations and good writing.

3. I want to improve my photography, video production, writing, and design skills so that my Instagram account and website become a portfolio I am proud of and can share in hopes of making a living from it.

   
   

Thank you for being supportive during these turbulent times. Cheers to a great 2025, and may 2026 be the year we all get closer to our actual dreams.